Have you ever thought about how much Mississippi looks like a tablecloth? Guy Henderson of Clinton Mississippi has, and I've reprinted the following with his permission.
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The Mississippi Tablecloth
©
Copyright 2001 by Guy Henderson
When we were growing up, my papa found a big plastic map of Mississippi. Nothing would do but for him to use it for a tablecloth even though Mama maintained it was hard enough to live there without having to eat on it. Through the years it became a pattern that molded much of our table decor and culinary endeavors.
Automatically we knew the vase of flowers would go down around Pelahatchie. Since there were 10 children to crowd in on the benches, I usually sat at
Vicksburg. If company came I could be squeezed down as far as
Natchez. However, this was much too close to the end of the table or along the Gulf Coast where Papa sat. We laughingly told him he was sitting in the Gulf of Mexico, but he declared as how the waters kept his
feet cool and besides he was fond of the scenery. Also, in this position he was able to keep an elbow on
Picayune and another on Lucedale.
Mama always sat up in Tennessee, a position she preferred, since her back would be toward the North. Papa reminded her that The War was over, but Mama would only snort and continue to sit on Tennessee.
It helped, too, when the table was crowded, You could always say, "Here, set the beans in Hollandale," or, "Please reach me the pie over near Ripley."
It taught the younger children how to set the table correctly. I can still hear the older sister telling the young ones, "Now put the plate at
Meridian, the fork just south of Quitman and the spoon and knife up near Shuqualak."
Papa didn't believe in the first person singular, so he would say, "Pascagoula needs the corn bread," or,
"Bay St. Louis is mighty dry."
Mama wanted to change it come Thanksgiving, but removing that map was akin to a revolution all over the southland. I was accused of being at
Greenville instead of Vicksburg. Papa allowed as how he did not know if he were at
Biloxi or New Orleans and that he would have canceled Thanksgiving if he had known it would destroy the entire state.
Moving that tablecloth map caused more confusion than the carpetbaggers' invasion. At supper that night, I well remember how nice it was to see the linen folded away and in ceremonial quietness, we spread the map.
Vicksburg never looked so good.
Of course, some cities messed things up something fierce. Mama always kept the coffee on the stove even though we thought it would be quaint to keep it on Hot Coffee. We compromised by keeping the pickles at Mt. Olive and the fried chicken at Duck Hill. Uncle Sipes would come to visit and beg to sit at Pilgrims Rest in Itawamba County.
Once I spilled a glass of milk near Raymond and it ran clear up to
Tupelo and as far south as Tyler-town. Papa declared it flooded 12 counties and said we should ask the government to declare it a disaster area. It was hard enough to lose the milk, but to know I had brought disaster was frightening. I was afraid to go near Tupelo for weeks after that.
Through the years the map wore out but it didn't matter then. We had places so well memorized that I knew every county and county seat. My cousin from Louisiana came to visit and thought we were nuts. "Put the hot biscuits at Wiggins," or "Pass the pie to
Biloxi" left him utterly confused. It really impressed him when we told him the map story and later reports had him drawing a map of Louisiana on his mother's best linen tablecloth.
Try it some time. While this method of teaching geography is not PTA-approved, the demographic digestibility is entirely satisfactory and is guaranteed to give you a new appreciation for fine linen.
The end
Guy Henderson is the retired editor of The Baptist Record. He lives in Clinton, Mississippi. The Mississippi Tablecloth has been published in a number of other local publications and Mr. Henderson is in the process of having a book published with some of the best editorials he has written. The Mississippi Tablecloth will be in the book, and the book will be made available for your purchase from this site.. All letters for Mr. Henderson's may be addressed to GHender964@aol.com .